The Great Wall will change our lives on February 17, 2017. I didn't know I needed the Dread Pirate Roberts and a legion of wire-fu warriors fighting against mini Zuuls, but now that I've seen it, I am very, very in. Yimou is a visionary, and Damon is one of the best actor's working today. Thankfully, even if The Great Wall got the greenlight in order to conquer global box office charts, there's masterful moviemaking packed into this short snippet of footage. If Damon's inclusion strikes you as suspect, well, welcome to modern Hollywood, where a Chinese stamp of approval is more essential to financial success and sustained movie stardom than appealing to American audiences. The Great Wall is Yimou's first English-language production, and the largest film ever shot entirely in China. Eliot's The Waste Land backwards doesn't come running across screen, but if it did, it wouldn't be surprising. At one point, Damon throws a shield like Captain America. There are airships and hero poses and slow-motion arrows. Starring Matt Damon as the defender of China's 2000-year-old wall, and directed by bona fide master Zhang Yimou (Jet Li's Hero, House of Flying Daggers), the West-meets-East blockbuster is crammed with colorful imagery. I don't want to exaggerate, but The Great Wall could be THE CRAZIEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME™.
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